Dear Uncle Stonebender

By Guy W. Thomas

© 1999 by the author, please ask to reprint elsewhere.

January 1st 1999.

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I made a New Year's Eve resolution to start an online journal. I thought writing to you would help me keep it this time. So here I am Uncle, with people looking over my shoulders, as I write this. It's 2:00 am on the first day, of the last year, of the 20th century. Carol and I went to Blake's in downtown Berkeley CA. I had originally wanted to go to the Paradise Lounge in San Francisco to hear "Storm and Her Dirty Mouth", but there were no seats available. Evidently, people only stand over there. Carol didn't think she could stand for over three hours. Thus, Blake's became the preferred venue.

Once I finished writing the above, I realized I couldn't remember the names of the bands I saw tonight (saw last night? I am a little sleepy and grammar isn't my strong suit). So I hopped on the Web to search for their names and ran into the Web being a little too efficient. It won't let me know what bands were playing, it only wants to tell me what bands will be playing at Blake's today not yesterday (two hours ago, sigh). Anyway, the first band we listened to was a kind of a folksy pop band that I didn't like much except for the last song they played. The second band seemed to be a shuffling of some members from the first band and a few new members. It leaned towards SKA, which I think is perfectly appropriate for a New Year's Eve Bash.

I almost forgot to tell you why going to Blake's was so exciting. I used to go to Blake's a great deal. Five or six years ago, I stopped being around that part of town. When I went regularly, the downstairs (where all the live music is) had stairs going down to it. I often wanted to hear the bands but couldn't get downstairs. I had heard that Blake's had a new elevator and tonight was my first opportunity to see Blake's downstairs.

The ride down was a bit harrowing. Blake's doesn't have an elevator per se. They have a lift. Which carries folks down the stairs on a metal platform. I know this is completely my own stuff, but using the lift feels like I'm driving right down the stairs. As a person with the disability all of my life, my gut tells me this is just wrong! However the people at Blake's were awfully sweet and tolerated my attack of paranoia with great empathy.

I think I'm going to sleep now, Uncle. I'll write more tomorrow.

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January 2nd, 1999.

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I went to an Invitational Bembe at my Umbanda house today, Uncle. Well, that sentence takes some explaining. Umbanda is an Afro-Brazilian religion that I was introduced to about four years ago. Its roots come from a tribe in Africa called the Yoruba. They used to live in what is now part of Nigeria and believed in a pantheon of deities called the Orisha. During the American slave trade many Yoruba people were enslaved and taken to various parts of North and South America. Unlike much of North America, Africans who were brought to South America were allowed to worship, as they liked (as long as they used Christian images in their ceremonies). (Those of you who know more about this subject will realize I'm oversimplifying. I'd go into more detail, but I don't want to write a book!) Therefore, they were able to maintain more of their religious practices. Anyway, over the years Yoruba culture got trans-muted into several different religious practices. Some of them are Santeria, Ifa, Candomble, Macumba, Vodoun etc.

Umbanda is a Brazilian variety that attempts in some ways to incorporate a little from many of the faiths I've mentioned with early 20th century spiritualism. It's a trance-medium religion where followers allow the Orisha to use their bodies. The Orisha, counsel us, help us and party with us. The parties are called Bembes. It's not really fair to think of Bembes as just parties. They are more than that. They are where we get to know the Orisha, ask for their help, get blessings and advice.

Anyway, that's enough explaining for now, Uncle Stonebender. So I went to my first Bembe in months. It was good to see all my friends. I forget how much my spiritual house means to me. I need to make sure my time between ceremonies isn't so long.

Pomba-jira told me something very enlightening today. I'll write you more about it later, but I have to think about it some.

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January 3rd, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I ended up seeing two movies today. It's been more than a year since I've done that! Debbie emailed me yesterday asking if I wanted to go to a movie. I had to tell her I had a Bembe, but I could do it today. So we went and saw Down to the Delta. Directed by Maya Angelou and starring Alfre Woodard, Al Freeman Jr., Wesley Snipes etc.

I didn't like it very much. All the solutions were a little too pat. An inner city black family moves back to their ancestral country home in Mississippi and all their problems get solved. The mother's alcoholism goes away without a withdrawal symptom. The autistic daughter gets better without therapy and they save the town from bankruptcy. Its Simple!

There is a nice story about a family heirloom (a silver candelabra) called Nathan. We learn why it is so important to the family and where it got its name. I liked the story, but it seemed to serve the directors "message" more than it served the characters.

After that, Debbie, Alan and I had coffee at Emeryville's public market. Although agreeing with most of my points they still enjoyed the movie. Debbie and Alan had to meet D around five so I had time to have Carol pick me up to see Living Out Loud at the Parkway. Going to the second movie was like storming the beach at Normandy. Carol picked up Betty and took her to the Parkway. Betty saved us seats, while another friend, Chuck, (who lives next to the Parkway) bought our tickets. Meanwhile, Carol picked me up in Emeryville. (shew!)

On the walk towards the Parkway, I discovered there's no curb cut on the corner of East 19th and Park Boulevard in Oakland. So I had to "walk" in the street for while until I found a driveway. Now, I like the Parkway and I understand that they operate on a shoe string budget. However, going to the Parkway feels like I'm going back in time. To enter the theater, I have to go around back past the electric meter and the garbage. Every time I go, I promise myself it will be the last, but eating pizza with beer while watching movie is just too cool!

I enjoyed Living Out Loud a great deal.

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January 4th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I spent the day at home, trying to get some writing done. I have a lot of the email I haven't responded to yet.

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January 5th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I didn't get much sleep last night. So I've been dragging my butt all day, thinking about what Pomba-jira said at the last Bembe. I've been working with her on being sexually attractive. During the Bembe, she asked me what was holding me back. I said I didn't know. I didn't know how to be sexy. Women don't see me as sexually attractive and she said what a powerless thing to say it.

As you may have noticed from my home page Uncle, I've been looking for more lovers in my life. This is not an activity in which I am particularly successful. In High school, the first girl I ever dated (Michelle) made it pretty clear that the only reason she went out with me because I was "safe". She had had a hard time with an earlier boyfriend and a subsequent abortion. She didn't want the hassle of a "real" boyfriend.

Later in college, I had a pretty disastrous dating history until I met my present SO. We got together as an open relationship from the very beginning, before we knew what polyamory was. I started out wanting an open relationship because I wanted to be honest with the woman I love. I knew if a woman I found attractive wanted me I wouldn't say "no" to her. It only seemed fair to give her the same opportunity. She has had three other lovers since we've been together. I haven't had any. It seems like its simple for her to find other interested parties. It's been difficult (so far, impossible for me).

Now to be honest, I have had a couple women express interest in me but for some fairly trivial reasons they are not attractive to me. Both of them are wonderful women and a blame myself completely for them not working out. This is a source of concern from me because it seems inconsistent. Here I am asking women to broaden their ideas about attraction to include men like me and yet I am unable to return the favor. Maybe this will become clear to me.

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January 6th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I have received an answer to my Ad! She seems very nice. We'll see how this goes. I have had about four responses from my Ad. Three right after my Headwashing (a Headwashing is kind of an Umbanda initiation) for Xango (I guess you can call him my patron deity. He is a king in charge of theater, government, the courts, vengeance, lightning, male sexuality, and the Bata drum. Of the four who answered my Ad, I'm not corresponding with any of them. The email just sort of petered out. This woman seems very nice.

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January 7th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Oh boy, I had one of my favorite days today! Slept in, had sex, ate eggs and sausage and latte yum! Deb came over and we shot the breeze for a couple hours. Read a Theodore Sturgeon short story and its new TV on NBC.

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January 8th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Carol took down the last of the Christmas ornaments today and moved all the boxes to storage. She seems overly tired. I wish she wouldn't push herself so much. I mean, it wouldn't have been awful if the Christmas ornaments had stayed up a while longer.

Got email from Ian this morning about his APA (called Fellas) dead line. Fortunately, all I have to do for Fellas is a cover design. I had an idea two months ago, which is why I volunteered to do a cover. I wish that I had asked Carol to do it then, but it seemed like I had forever. Well, forever's here.

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January 9th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Took Klipper to the Veterinarian today. She confirmed my worry that Klipper is losing his hearing. Nothing really to be done about it, but it's better to know. We will have to budget a teeth cleaning into the near future. Another 250 to 300 dollars up in smoke! No, that's not fair he'll feel better with his teeth cleaned and his breath will certainly smell better after the cleaning.

After the Vet, I stopped by the doughnut shop next door to my Vet for my favorite latte and glazed twist. Then, it was off to Wheelchairs of Berkeley for some final adjustments too my new wheelchair. Getting a new wheelchair is something like getting new boots for your whole body. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy get it, but it's a huge adjustment. Nothing feels right, I'm a different size and nothing works the same. My right hip has been killing me for over a week. I couldn't decide what was causing it. Were my footrests too long, the seat cushion too hard for too soft, was I'm not positioning myself correctly? Turns out the adductor (sp?) These little braces near my knees which push them together) was too tight. At least that's what we think right now, I'll see if my hip is still killing me tomorrow.

I also got a nifty new mouth stick holder installed on my lap table. The mouth stick helps me push things around on my table. It helps me turn ages and type using it in my mouth, since my arms don't work so well.

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January 10th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Had a lazy Saturday today. All I really did was go to the Parkway and saw Pig, in the City. I had been avoiding it, but my friend Chuck asked if we wanted to go and I am a movie slut. So we went. It wasn't nearly as bad as people have said. Folks really seemed to be upset with it because it isn't kid's movie. It's true, it isn't, but I didn't think the first one was a kids movie either. The first movie and the second have been marketed incorrectly. Just because it has talking animals in it doesn't mean its for children. Attack the publicity people not the movie makers. Pig, in the City isn't as good as Babe but it had its truly fine moments.

I cleaned up some of my links in the Advocacy and Music areas of my home page take a look Uncle.

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January 18, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Okay, okay, I lied. I wanted to write something every day, but life often gets in the way. I do still want to write this to you as often as possible, but don't expect every day.

Having said that life has really been getting in my way, nothing much has been happening to me this week. I did have my first big bout of depression. Which is of course partly responsible for why I haven't written. I have been on some new herbs for a couple of months now and had thought I'd beaten the depression. No such luck. I've suffered from "moodiness" most of my life, but the last three or four years have been rough.

I seem to be getting adjusted to my new wheelchair, finally! For about the last week and a half I've been going to bed in pain. My knee and hip are killing me. Turns out the braces fitted to the wheelchair in order to keep my knee and leg straight were twisting my leg. I'm a pretty crooked fellow and my leg was used to being crooked. I've repositioned my leg, the last two days, and no pain. Hurray! Hosted the PolyWOD (Poly WithOut Drama) discussion group today. It was fun, but very informal this time around. Only Carol, Betty, Debbie, Alan, Ruth, myself and the founders: Stef and Aahz, attended. We mostly talked about the logistics of buying housing while being poly. Alan made short bread! (I love's my short bread!)

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January 24th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I had an awful time getting to sleep last night. Ate too much and went to bed too soon afterwards. I was burping 'n burning all night long. So Carol let me sleep in, until 2 o'clock p.m., it's 1 o'clock in the morning and I feel like I just woke up. I haven't solved my hip problems yet. Things seems like I get a day where it feels OK and then a couple days in pain, followed by another OK day. The wonder that is my life!

We (Carol, Betty, Chuck and I) did go out to eat tonight at a place called Tribeca. It's an odd little place on College Ave. in Berkeley. It serves several cuisine's from Italian, Indian, Mexican and American. The food wasn't exceptional but the waitress was very cute! Small and dark with big eyes and a warm smile. Gosh, I love waitresses! They smile at you, make pleasant conversational banter with you, and bring you food. What could be better than that?

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February 20th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I owe you some real catching up. Sorry I haven't written sooner, a combination of depression and major computer troubles have delayed my correspondence for too long. Let's see, what's been happening? Recently, I attended a public Pomba-jira devotional at Pantheacon in San Francisco. The American Magic Umbanda House (my spiritual house) usually does a public Pomba ceremony there. In fact, one of the first AMU ceremonies I attended was the Pomba devotional at Pantheacon. That year I think it was in San Jose. My lady Pomba-jira gave me much to think about. Before the devotional I met a woman named Jennifer who I was very attracted to, in a way I haven't been since "J.".

"J." in many ways is responsible for my spiritual awakening. At the time I met her, she was my very good friend's girlfriend. She worked at a hang out of mine. I don't know what it was about her. She was beautiful (still is, as far as I know), but there are a lot of beautiful women. She wasn't particularly friendly, although she wasn't unfriendly. It was a vibration, an aroma, some kind of energy that pulled at my center. I had gone about 12 years with Carol thinking, eventually I'll find other lovers. Just in the natural course of my life, but I really wasn't looking for anyone. After meeting "J." I was aching for a new lover, "J." specifically. It was like a switch had been flipped in my libido. She just made me feel very, very male. Later, I found out she was an Oshun head. Which makes since to me now (Oshun being the goddess of romantic love). Anyway, I fell in love with her hard and fast. Being a friend's girlfriend, complicated matters to the extent that I didn't pursue any "love" relationship with her (not that I have the slightest idea how to do that) until "J." and my friend began to break up. However, it was necessary for me to be around her as much as I could.

We didn't really move in the same circles. She was 11 years my junior. An ex-Goth, artist, wannabe pagan priestess, trying to become a counselor and body worker. The single place I could see her was at her workplace (my hang out). Until she asked me to come to an Umbanda ceremony. Then, I was a rabid agnostic ex-Catholic. Who thought rejecting Catholicism meant rejecting any kind of spirituality as woo woo. So I went to this wacko, Afro-Brazilian Voodoo ceremony. I'll be honest, I felt as out of place as I ever have, but I kept attending ceremonies. Looking forward to the hello or goodbye kisses.

I still don't know exactly what happened between them, but eventually "J." and my friend broke up. I tried to wait for a reasonable time, but couldn't wait very long to ask her out. I checked with my friend about asking her. (I didn't ask for permission. I just wanted to be sure I wasn't complicating matters for them.) He assured me it wouldn't work. I wasn't her type and sure enough, he was right.

We dated sporadically and although I still love her (If she's reading this, call me, we'll talk.) She never wanted me the way I still want her. What I'm left with is something I never would have anticipated, faith in the Goddess. After awhile, I began to trance. Exu cracked open my head and showed the power of the Orisha. Now, I'm an initiated Son of Xango. Who'd 'a thought?

This has turned into an essay, rather than a catch up. Sorry Uncle, I'll try to tell you more about what I'm up to, tomorrow.

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February 21st, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Happy Birthday to me! I'm 41 today, yuck. I am deep in the throws of mid-life crisis. Carol did what she could to celebrate my day. French toast, bacon and coffee for breakfast. We made love twice. A wanted to do something exciting and different. Unfortunately I couldn't think of anything. We did go see "October Sky" at the Emeryville. It's a film about four boys in a coal mining town in 1957. Who decide to build a rocket after Sputnik is launched. It goes over the top a bit in the sentimentality department, but I still liked it. I also recently saw "Return to Paradise". What a powerful picture! You really must see it.

The two very pleasant surprises I received today was a phone call from Deb in New York and shortbread! The call was pleasant but the shortbread is very curious. As I've told you Uncle, I do love short bread, but how did this short bread just end up wrapped in plastic at my doorstep? I would've said my friend Deb did it, but she's in New York (thus, the phone call I mentioned earlier). The only other person I know who might give me short bread is Donya, but she'd probably not know it was my birthday. I'd also be surprised if she'd come all the way to my place just to drop cookies off at my door. So who did deliver them? I'll investigate and let you know Uncle.

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March 11, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I've been mostly inside for weeks. When I am outside, I am always going to meetings it seems. I did do some browsing at Hear Music. I don't go there too often because they're a bit pricey, but they always have the most interesting music on display. They were playing someone called Susanna Ohs. Who I ended up a buying. She seems to be part of this alternative country that's showing up. People like Iris de Mint. Susanna has a wonderfully whiskey soaked voice. I was disappointed to find out that my CD was an EP and not a full album. I think I'll be going to Hear Music less often now. As I entered the store this time the anti-theft gate started beeping. They waived me in, but every time I'd get a little close to the gates they started beeping. It felt very uncomfortable, like the belled cat. The staff seemed to be aware of problem. Evidently, the frequency my wheelchair used was close to what the gate used.

PS It turns out Alan, Debbie's partner, made short bread for me on my birthday. I called him to thank him and we had a very nice phone conversation. One of the longest conversations we've ever had. I enjoyed it.

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March 30, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Good news, I was recently elected President of the board of directors for The Center for Independent Living in Berkeley. I served as President about six years ago for one-year. It never felt like I had a chance to do a good job before I'd been booted out (really I just didn't get re-elected). I had been re-evaluating my commitment to CIL and was on the verge of quitting the board of directors. I was disenchanted with some of the personalities and what seemed like entrenched obstacles. Until our new Executive Director, Larry Watson, asked me to run for President. I was quite tickled by his request, and decided that my work for CIL hadn't been a waste time. So Larry's request made me feel much better about my work.

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April 15, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Tax day! It seems like everyone I talk to is getting dinged by the tax man (more than they expected, I mean). Thank you Republican Party for "simplifying" taxes by leaving no tax brackets from 15 percent to 28 percent! Just so the rich don't have to pay as much.

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April 24, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

There's been a great deal of activity around the "Right to Die" movement in a recent months. My State Assembly person, Dion Aroner, is introducing a bill to make physician assisted suicide legal in California. Although I really believe that the right to die should be legal (at least I know when I've decided its time to go, I'm checking out, legal or not.) I'm not supporting any physician assisted suicide bills. Why? There's a few reasons. First, because of the failed attempt to nationalize healthcare, so everyone equal access to medical treatment. Now, HMOs control healthcare. They have entirely too much power to decide what treatments people can get. They decide what durable medical equipment is available to us. They decide how treatment is delivered. They even decide what information doctors give their patients regarding what treatments, equipment, services exist. HMOs are companies. Companies are only motivated by one thing, making money. People with disabilities more are more expensive to treat for HMOs then your able bodied citizen. We need expensive equipment, specialists, services, and often different treatments than the general public. Therefore, there is entirely too much motivation to kill people with disabilities than to keep them alive and fully independent.

She claims she introduced the bill to begin the discussion on "Right to Die" issues. She's done nothing to facilitate that discussion. She had one meeting with some of the community at the Center of Independent Living in Berkeley. Unfortunately she chose to abandon the agenda agreed upon by her, her staff and people with disabilities attending the meeting. Unilaterally, she made the meeting about meeting her needs rather than allowing the community to discuss issues of concern us. In my opinion, the disability community can't afford to talk about "Right to Die" issues until universal health care is achieved. If her bill becomes law, California will have in-place a law which will pay a physician to kill their patient, but no system to pay to treat thier patient. Even for those of us who may agree in principal that individuals have the right to terminate their own lives, this situation is abhorrent.

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April 26, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I'm writing this to let you know my Service dog, Klipper, had to be put to sleep. The last month or so he had been slowing down a bit, but we had largely thought this was caused by age (he was 14 years old after all.) Until the last few days, when Klipper stopped wanting to eat. As our Veterinarian said later, "It's never a good sign when Golden Retriever's stop wanting to eat." This is even truer of Klipper. Who was "The" champion food hound. Over the weekend, we'd gotten him to eat some food by either feeding him by hand or adding special treats to his food. This morning, we called the vet and got a 9:30 am appointment. After an examination, the Vet guessed it might be cancer in his spleen.

We got x-rays to confirm the diagnosis. We could have operated and put Klipper on chemo, but it would have been uncomfortable for Klip, expensive for us, with no assurance of success. Even if the treatment were successful, at 14 we were only talking another year, perhaps two, added to Klipper's life. So I decided it was best to put him to sleep. He died peacefully at 5:20 pm, April 26, 1999. His head in my arms, with Carol and I petting him and telling him, "He's a Good Boy". He was my buddy, I loved him, and I'll miss.

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May 11, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Yesterday, I saw short film about the 504 sit in in 1977. The sit in was the event that put the independent living movement in the national spotlight. 504 was a section of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. The rehab let supposed to prevent discrimination of people with disabilities in any organization that receives federal funds. It was the most important and comprehensive civil rights legislation for the disabled up to that point.

The disability community had been working with the federal government to write the regulations that would enforce 504. It had been going on for four years and rather than the disability community gaining ground, Califano (then President Jimmy Carter's Secretary of the H. E. W.) was doing his best through secret meetings to water down the proposed regulations. It became clear the longer the negotiations continued the weaker the regulations would be. So, around 200 people with various disabilities or no disability went to the federal building in San Francisco which was at that time for the West Coast H. E. W. office to demonstrate and demand that the regulations be signed now.

Demonstrations were also carried out in several other states concurrently. Many of the demonstrations spontaneously turned into a sit in on the federal building. Over a hundred people with disabilities occupied San Francisco's federal building for 26 days in 1977. It was remarkable to see this 18 minute documentary on one of the most significant demonstrations for people with disabilities. An event, that isn't even known of by most able bodied people in the Bay Area let alone the rest of the country.

 It was a wonderful experience.

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May 31, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

Last Friday, I went to my theater mentors' last day of teaching at Laney college. Lew is a remarkable teacher. We haven't had much contact in the last few years, but he was largely responsible for pulling me out fairly large depression in my life. I had just moved from Illinois to California. I was very alone. Very incompetent. Very useless. A not sure why I thought I could take an acting improvisation class, but I did. Lew never questioned my ability to be an actor. Whatever difficulties I ran into doing the class were treated just like that; a difficulty to be solved. He cast me in several plays and even let me direct a play.

He celebrated his retirement by doing a Harold (an improv performance) like I he'd done several times a week over the years. Laney looked very different. I had probably not been on campus for eight or nine years. Instead of the huge non-ADA complaint "ramp", a section of it had been replaced with the complicated Rube Goldberg-like ramp with rest areas, benches, and tasteful plantings. In the theater, the middle section in the audience that wheelchair folks were relegated to had been widened. I used to have to sit at an angle to the stage because there wasn't enough room to straighten out. Now there's plenty of room. After Carol went downstairs to tell folks I had arrived Lew came up to greet me. He looked exactly the same. He attempted to shake my hand and I had to tell him I couldn't shake his hand. I am weaker than I was the last time I saw him.

He invited me a play on stage in the Harold, but it is been quite a while since I've done any improv, so I declined. It felt so funny to go back there and not feel "up" to doing the work. Lew still thought I could do it.

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July 25, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I'm a pathetic correspondent Uncle, sigh. Let's try again. I got out of bed late today. It felt good. I hadn't been able to sleep in for a couple weeks I think. A good friend of mine, Ian came down from Seattle to visit. We got a chance to eat lunch yesterday at Smart Alec's on Telegraph Ave. in Berkeley. It's a largely vegetarian place (Ian being a vegetarian). So there wasn't much of interest to me, to eat. Fortunately, they make some terrific french fries. In kindly helped me eat and we had an interesting conversation. I like Ian I. hope we become closer friends.

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August 19, 1999

Contrary to my memory, Debbie claimed she never read my story, The Gift. So I gave it to her earlier this week. I was distressed to find out I didn't have an electronic copy of the story. I must have lost it during one or another file transfer. The story is at least five years old. That's about two computers ago. Luckily I did have a hard copy, so she read that. She liked it! She had some critiques, but she liked it. I'm probably going to reenter it into the computer and try to fix it up. Maybe I can sell it this time around.

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September 20th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

I'm pretty good. Spent last weekend looking at houses. Got 17 house listings from our Real Estate agent. We winnowed the list down to 11 (getting rid of the houses that were too small, too much on a hill, clearly unsuitable). Then, we spent Saturday driving by the 11 to see if any would work. From the drive buy's, we narrowed the list down to 4. One of which is already sold. The good news is, we actually found some good prospects for houses in our price range. The bad news is, figuring out how the three of us can come to a decision before they get sold out from under us. The next step is to call real estate agent and take a look at the inside of the three we have left. If none of them work we get another list of houses from the agent and off we go again!

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October 16th, 1999

Dear Uncle Stonebender,

The news around here is we just made an offer on a house. It's a craftsman three bedroom 1 1/2 bath house with a hardwood floor and a fireplace. It also already has, surprise, surprise, a ramp. Turns out the wife of the couple who owns the house used a wheelchair for years before she died. The property has an illegal in-law unit in the back (basically a converted two car garage). The in-law unit has what they call a one plus bedroom and bath. Betty gets the in-law unit and Carol and I will live in the house. Look at me writing about it like its ours already! The house needs work, about $15,000 dollars worth on the foundation. We are gadget people so the electrical will have to be upgraded. In the whole place, there is only one three prong grounded plug. All the rest are two prong. We also need to put a better floor in Betty's place. Then there is some painting we would like to do while all the furniture is out of the house.

The money is going to be tight, but our real estate broker thinks we made a good offer. We'll find out if we got the place by Saturday. Cross your fingers or pray to whatever diety you hold dear.